I’m not sure what trust is supposed to look like, but I know what it shouldn’t look like: Worry and stressing over things I can’t control.
In this military life there’s been loads of waiting. Always waiting for the next. Feeling like I can’t move forward because XYZ needs to happen before I take a step.
You would think since my introduction to military spouse life 8 years ago, I would be used to playing the waiting game. But even so, I don’t think anyone ever becomes accustomed to having plans change one hundred million times. Okay, slight exaggeration, but not all that far off.
Even as I make plans and backup plans, I have to fight against going into a downward spiral of woes when I hear that our plans have been delayed by some situation we have no control over.
Military or not, I think we’ve all experienced unwanted delays.
But a delay does not give me an excuse to become a cucumber in front of the tv or to give up. A delay simply gives me more time right where I am.
This time around, as our time in San Antonio is (possibly) being extended by a week instead of shortened by a week, I’m forcing myself to think about all the good things that could be needing another week to sort out before we continue our move.
For example, maybe the house I want needed additional time for the previous tenants to move out or the fence to be fixed. This gives me more time to apply for that job I wanted. The delay may be clearing roads that were obstructed due to inclement weather. Or maybe my heart just needed to press into Jesus and say, “Yes, I trust you even though this is not my plan.”
The possibilities are endless for what may be needing additional time before we hit the road.
While I have no idea what the next few weeks will look like, I do know that it’s okay to not know. My understanding of this delay does not dictate or change the outcome.
God already is working, he hasn’t stopped, and he won’t stop.
P.S. Here’s some verses I’m remembering today:
We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9
You can make any plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail. Proverbs 19:21
Who can command things to happen without the Lord’s permission? Lamentations 3:37
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
* all Bible verses are from the New Living Translation