Quarter Crisis

I will be 25 this month. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, my thoughts get scrambled with the many projects I want to accomplish, and supposing I live until 100, a quarter of my life is gone! 

As a kid I thought this was so far away and a 25 year old person was old. It feels like I have lived multiple lives already. 

And I thought 24 was depressing (insert ugly sobbing emoji here). 

I have absolutely no idea where I will be physically relocated to in the next three to five years. Much less what stage of life I will be in. I don’t know what my next choice should be to make my way in this world. There is so much uncertainty swirling around me it makes my head hurt sometimes. 

I don’t know about you, but I want to leave a mark on this place. I want people to know who I am. 

And there it is: That silly notion that the world needs to remember me somehow. 

With all the things I want to do I must slow down, take a breath, and ask, Jesus, what do you want to accomplish today? 

Despite my desire to be known, what I should be doing is making Jesus known. I am already significant in His eyes, even with all my imperfections. (To be honest, I would rather Him see what I’m doing to make His works known than what I’m doing to attempt to leave my mark on this world). I do not need to prove my place in this world to anyone but Him and actually, He doesn’t require me to prove anything. He already knows me better than I do. 

O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. ‭Psalm‬ ‭139‬:‭1-4‬ ESV

It’s a beautiful, scary thing that He knows me that well. But maybe knowing this will push me closer to Him as I seek Him and ask Him to create my list of things to accomplish throughout the day. If I put away what I want to accomplish for my own glory, maybe, just maybe, there will be room for my life to reflect Jesus. 

While I attempt to remember that God’s plans are better than mine, I am reassured that I can trust Him with my present and future circumstances. 

I am clueless and often fearful about the future, but The Lord knows and will provide what is needed for the journey (Genesis 22). 

One Comment Add yours

  1. Lana says:

    I love it!! God’s will is the journey as it unfolds… just listen to him~HE always will shine thru you!

    Liked by 1 person

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